When we start out on a journey to a more confident us do we stop to take time to figure out why we are doing it in the first place?

It’s a step so many of us miss or don’t give enough thought.

Especially given how difficult dieting or changing our body can be. Let’s give ourselves every opportunity we can of success.

Most people are like ‘yeah I want to lose weight’ or ‘I want to look and feel more confident about myself’. 

If this is the case why are so many of us not where we want to be or really struggling getting there? 

So if you find yourself giving up, or get a couple of weeks in and can’t be bothered don’t worry.

We just need to get more out of what your goals mean to you and how much different your life might be if you achieve them.

Make it really worth it.

So I want to share with you a process I use when I first speak to someone that enables me to establish where someones mindset is initially at.

People come to me for a variety of reasons. It’ll often be to lose weight which essentially means drop body-fat, ‘tone’ up which means add muscle, get healthier, stronger, and so on.

There is usually an outcome of some description in mind. 

All of these ‘goals’ are good and have their merit.

Don’t we all want a little bit of that in our life? 

Personally, I think wanting to ‘lose weight’ is very uninspiring and if anything a little boring.

These all fall into the ‘I should‘ category.

They’re generic and probably driven by other external factors. 

Let’s see if we can do better and find a goal that is personal and meaningful to you.

Grab a pen and paper. Trust me on this.

First, ask yourself this and go deep. Let’s use ‘weight-loss or Fat-Loss’ as an example. 

Right now, why is losing weight important to you?  How do you currently feel about yourself? If you lost x amount of weight how would life be different for you?  How will losing weight impact you socially and professionally? 

Now write down at least 20 answers to these questions. 

If your goal right now isn’t weight-loss it’s the same process.

It’s all about the quality if the questions we ask ourselves.

I believe the quality of the questions we ask ourselves can really influence the probability of success we experience.

The whole point of this process is to dial down a little deeper and get something meaningful behind our actions and getting it all down on paper allows to get inspired.

Why is this important? Because motivation changes and the motivation you have at the start wont be the same in 3/4 weeks time and certainly not 3/4 months time. 

Il share mine and hopefully they’ll help you get started.

Why is my training important to me? 

I love feeling fit and running around playing sport.

I know when I feel confident I can really be me. 

I want my girlfriend to find me attractive, and it feels great receiving compliments from her and others.

I feel a little more manly. Yes, dam straight. I went there. Having muscle on my body makes me feel good about myself.

Feeling good helps with my mindset. I feel healthier, happier, my energy and productivity improve, I sleep and rest better. 

I feel empowered. I feel fit. I feel young. 

I want my body to inspire the people I train. I want to show them that you can enjoy life, exercise, work hard and excel professionally and personally.

I want to live a long healthy life and know that training will help support this.

And of course, I still live with insecurities with my body, confidence, and meeting new people still scares the shit out of me sometimes.

But can you see how important training is for me?

Thinking about how important it is to me helps when putting my trainers is more effort than it should be or I am doing my absolute best to look for an excuse to not get off the sofa.

It doesn’t work all of the time and it doesn’t need to.

It just needs to work more often than not.

And don’t confuse this with validation, narcissism or being egotistical. 

Give yourself permission to want to feel good.

We have one life to live and so many of us deserve to feel better.

Give it a go and see if it conjures up some fire deep within you. 

If you struggle, take more time to think and get it all down on paper.

It’s all about the quality of the questions you ask yourself.

I hope today has given you a slightly different perspective on goal setting and why this part of the journey is so important.

Thanks for reading, Luke.